.
You’ll see, Mr. Gore couldn’t have won the “Peace” prize after all!!
Actually, he probably won the “Panic” award (new this year) for his little “You People Need To Be Greener While I Fly Around In My Private Plane” box office smash. Someone must have shortened that title to “An Inconvenient Truth”. Hmm. Anyway, dim-libs have been quite “all a-twitter” since the debut. But, I digress . . . .
So what if he hasn’t solved the global warming “issue” yet? Give the man just a little bit of time! He’s going to fix all that in December when he formally receives his award. Don’t worry, he’ll live up to the image of the man that should receive Nobel’s award.
In December, Mr. Gore will not only receive a Nobel Prize Medal and Nobel Prize Diploma, he’ll also receive a monetary award from the Nobel Prize Foundation: 10,000,000 SEK.
In case you were wondering, a SEK is a Swedish kronor. As of October 12, the exchange rates were: 1 SEK = .1558 of a US dollar. That translates to $1,158,000 US dollars!! And I just know what he’s going to do with all that money!! He’s going to purchase carbon offsets!!
According to Wikipedia.org, “As little as US$90 will plant 900 trees, enough to annually remove as much carbon dioxide as is annually generated by the fossil-fuel usage of an average United States resident.”
With his Nobel Prize Monetary award, Mr. Gore will be able to purchase (and have someone else donate their time to plant) 15,579,999 trees to offset the fossil fuel usage of 17,311.11 US residents! What a guy. I’m sure we’ll quickly begin to feel the cool-down. No, wait. It’ll be December so it’ll be getting cold anyway. Well, it doesn’t matter.
Seriously, though, past American Nobel Peace Prize winners have included truly great men who were unparalleled in their fields and who actually accomplished that for which Alfred Nobel had hoped. Again, according to Wikipedia.org:
1950: Ralph Bunche. Chief UN Mediator. Accomplished the signing of the 1949 Armistice Agreements which ended the 1948 Arab-Israeli War.
1953: George Marshall. Chief Military Advisor to FDR. Developed the Marshall Plan which helped Europe recover after WWII
1962: Linus Pauling. Quantum Chemist & Biochemist and Peace Activist. Campaigned against above ground nuclear weapons testing.
1964: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Baptist Minister & Political Activist. Leader of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, campaigner for civil rights.
1970: Dr. Norman Borlaug. Agricultural Scientist. Developed a high-yield, disease resistant wheat which improved food security & increased food supply in Mexico, Pakistan & India.
1973: Henry Kissinger. National Security Advisor & Secretary of State. Helped establish a cease-fire and US withdrawal from Vietnam.
1986: Eliezer Wiesel. Political Activist and Holocaust survivor. Spoke out against violence, repression, and racism.
2002: Jimmy Carter. Former President & Peace Activist. " . . .decades of untiring effort to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts, to advance democracy and human rights, and to promote economic and social development"
To that distinguished list we proudly add:
2007: Al Gore. Former Vice-President. He got some of it right. Oh yeah, and he planted a lot of trees. Maybe. Jet fuel is awfully expensive.
Hold on to the arms of your chair, squeeze your eyes shut and belt out a really loud, “Oh Good Grief!” You’ll feel better. I did.